Wednesday, November 28, 2007

When does this Christmas spirit crap kick in?

Christmas Teepee/Volcano
Originally uploaded by Marti515
When we first moved into our house seven years ago, no one on our street put up Christmas lights. "This just will not do!" I proclaimed and became the first on the street to decorate. The next year, the people across the street put up lights. Not to be outdone, the people to the left of me put up lights the year after that. Eventually, the entire street, except for one old scrooge, was decorating with outdoor lights. My heart swelled with pride. Then I started graduate school.

I currently have five IQ tests to administer, three IQ reports to write up, a paper on ethics, a paper on an emerging theory, and a paper on personality disorders all due within the next two weeks. Oh, and four finals to study for. So, what do I decide to do tonight? Yep, put up Christmas lights. Actually, it wasn't my idea. The rest of the neighbors already have their lights up, and my son asked if we could put ours up too. My initial response was, "Why? We have so many other beautiful houses to look at that have lights." He wasn't happy with that answer, and I really didn't want to be known as scrooge #2. I mumbled a few #$*&% to myself and up to the attic I went.

Most of the lights strands are old and probably need to be replaced, but I didn't feel like running out and getting some right then, besides you can get them 75% off the day after Christmas. Instead, I went through each strand and located the burnt out bulbs with my handy dandy locater and replaced them with new ones, all the while mumbling #$*&% to myself.

After I got the strands all untangled and glowing brightly, I began stringing them across the front gutter. Austin decided that this year he was big enough to climb the ladder and clip the lights to the gutter instead of me, so he informed me of this milestone. #$*&% I muttered to myself. I didn't want his help. It would be 50 times faster without him getting in my way. I compromised with him and let him do just one strand up on the ladder while I stood there and held it and yelled the following things up to him. "Be careful. You don't need to climb THAT high. No, I will not let go. I'm standing right here and holding this thing. Of course I trust you honey. It's the ladder I don't trust. Hurry up. Put it on the hook. The hook. THE HOOK. #$*&%!

After that, we moved on to the trees. We used to have five trees in our front yard. A tornado blew through one year and blew one of them down. Last year's multiple ice storms took care of two more. I used to wrap lights all around the trunks of these trees. All I have left is one big stump. I decided to try and make a Christmas tree with lights using the stump as a center pole. It didn't exactly turn out as I had envisioned it. It looks more like a teepee, or perhaps a volcano. #$*&%! I thought we could just live with it, but the more I look at it, the more I realize that I'm going to have to take it down and try something else. #$*&%!%&*#&*@$!!!!!!

I WILL live with it until finals are over though. In fact, I think I may have to ground myself from doing other things until I get all my school work done. You know, because putting up Christmas lights is just so much damn fun.

Monday, November 26, 2007

A Tribute To Mary

To my next door neighbor, Mrs. Mary.

You started having health problems about a year ago and last month you started declining really fast. Hospice came to take care of you, and they did a great job making sure that you were comfortable and had everything you needed. You died today.
Who's going to make sure I remember that it's trash day?
Who's going to wave to us from the window every time we pull into our drive way?
Who's going to watch our house when we are away?
Who's going to talk to me through the fence when I'm doing yard work?
Who's going to sneak dog biscuits to my dogs through the fence? You didn't realize I had figured out it was you they kept getting them from, did you? I didn't say anything. I didn't want to ruin your fun.
Who's going to tell my son that he is welcome to come by for a Popsicle any time.
Who's going to toss my son's golf balls back over the fence?
Who's going to catch me up on all the television programs I've missed?
Who's going to make me fudge at Christmas?
Who's going to watch my son do a gazillion fireworks on the Fourth of July?
Who's going to tell me that my son is trying to blow up the mailbox with Black Cats?
Who's going to tell me that my son is too smart for his own good?
Who's going to give me tomatoes from their garden?
Who's going to ask me where my helmet is when I ride my bicycle?
Who's going to make sure that they have an extra special treat for my son when he comes to their door on Halloween night?
Who's going to let my son take a rose from their rose bush to give to his mom?

I think what I'm trying to say Mrs. Mary is that you will be missed.

Sunday, November 25, 2007


Originally uploaded by Marti515
This is what happens in my house when you are lying in bed watching cartoons and then your mother comes in to vacuum the floor and then you scream at the top of your lungs that you CAN'T HEAR THE TV!!! STOP VACUUMING!!!!

Not Vacuuming

Not Vacuuming
Originally uploaded by Marti515
This is me lying in bed demonstrating how NOT to complain when OTHER people are vacuuming.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Be Ye Not Afraid!

Mud Room
Originally uploaded by Marti515
I am much better with power tools than one would think. Look what I put together all by myself! Finally, I have a mudroom. With my son getting older, I have been in desperate need of a mudroom. I don't have an entry way closet and have just been using simple hooks on the wall next to the front door to hold our coats. The shoes just seem to lay where they fall, which is usually all over the hard wood floor, which isn't too much of a problem when it's dry outside, but not so good when it's wet and muddy. I'm so excited. Austin helped me hang the shelf. By helped, I mean he stood there and cried while he held one end over his head and I held the other end and power screwed with one hand. Wimp!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Confusing Weather

Confused Trees
Originally uploaded by Marti515
Sunday we hit the 80 degree mark. Monday we were in the 70's. Yesterday we were in the 60's. I mowed the yard yesterday for the last time (I hope). We finally got our first freeze last night. Yep, finally fell to 31 degrees. The rest of the week is supposed to be in the 70's again. See those two trees in my front yard. They're confused. The one on the left has stripped itself of all its leaves. The tree on the right still has all its pretty green leaves. If you enlarge the photo, you will see that my sweet potato plant sitting there on my porch is still green and lush. The grass however is brown in some places and green in others. We're all confused. I refuse to mow again until March. Bring on some snow please.