When we first moved into our house seven years ago, no one on our street put up Christmas lights. "This just will not do!" I proclaimed and became the first on the street to decorate. The next year, the people across the street put up lights. Not to be outdone, the people to the left of me put up lights the year after that. Eventually, the entire street, except for one old scrooge, was decorating with outdoor lights. My heart swelled with pride. Then I started graduate school.
I currently have five IQ tests to administer, three IQ reports to write up, a paper on ethics, a paper on an emerging theory, and a paper on personality disorders all due within the next two weeks. Oh, and four finals to study for. So, what do I decide to do tonight? Yep, put up Christmas lights. Actually, it wasn't my idea. The rest of the neighbors already have their lights up, and my son asked if we could put ours up too. My initial response was, "Why? We have so many other beautiful houses to look at that have lights." He wasn't happy with that answer, and I really didn't want to be known as scrooge #2. I mumbled a few #$*&% to myself and up to the attic I went.
Most of the lights strands are old and probably need to be replaced, but I didn't feel like running out and getting some right then, besides you can get them 75% off the day after Christmas. Instead, I went through each strand and located the burnt out bulbs with my handy dandy locater and replaced them with new ones, all the while mumbling #$*&% to myself.
After I got the strands all untangled and glowing brightly, I began stringing them across the front gutter. Austin decided that this year he was big enough to climb the ladder and clip the lights to the gutter instead of me, so he informed me of this milestone. #$*&% I muttered to myself. I didn't want his help. It would be 50 times faster without him getting in my way. I compromised with him and let him do just one strand up on the ladder while I stood there and held it and yelled the following things up to him. "Be careful. You don't need to climb THAT high. No, I will not let go. I'm standing right here and holding this thing. Of course I trust you honey. It's the ladder I don't trust. Hurry up. Put it on the hook. The hook. THE HOOK. #$*&%!
After that, we moved on to the trees. We used to have five trees in our front yard. A tornado blew through one year and blew one of them down. Last year's multiple ice storms took care of two more. I used to wrap lights all around the trunks of these trees. All I have left is one big stump. I decided to try and make a Christmas tree with lights using the stump as a center pole. It didn't exactly turn out as I had envisioned it. It looks more like a teepee, or perhaps a volcano. #$*&%! I thought we could just live with it, but the more I look at it, the more I realize that I'm going to have to take it down and try something else. #$*&%!%&*#&*@$!!!!!!
I WILL live with it until finals are over though. In fact, I think I may have to ground myself from doing other things until I get all my school work done. You know, because putting up Christmas lights is just so much damn fun.
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