Okay, so here are those stories I promised you. One night, as my son and I lay watching television in my bed, a food commercial comes on. Austin, being the dork that he is, gets up and tries to eat the pizza that's on the screen. He misjudges and bonks his face hard into the television. He starts crying. I start laughing. He starts crying and laughing. He asks me if he is bleeding, because if there is blood then he knows that he is seconds away from death and can appropriately raise the scream-o-meter a few notches. "No", I say without really looking. He then goes to look in the mirror, because he doesn't believe me and really wants an excuse to raise the scream-o-meter. He comes back and tells me he has chipped his tooth. "YOU WHAT!" I promptly raise the scream-o-meter myself as I grab his cheeks and pull his face closer to me. "Austin, you goober, that's your permanent tooth. It's going to be like that for the rest of your life." He smiles and says, "Cool!"